Reflections on Growing Up Female

Confession: when I was about eleven, I wanted to look like Cher. Yes indeed. I was chubby, fair-skinned and copper-haired, but I longed to look like Cher. She was the most gorgeous woman I knew of at the time!  Now I am okay with my average size, average height and curves.  I am more okay with me than I ever have been! Usually.

I used to say that I would grow old gracefully. Getting older is a blessing! I'm now a fifty-two year old grandma. I'm trying to do this gracefully, but sometimes it's awkwardly.



A couple of days ago, I noticed the skin on my throat again, looking a bit saggy.  Blaaaah!! Noooo! The beginnings of a chicken neck!  In reality, others will not be staring at one small area of my neck as I was. Oh, silly me!

When I was in my twenties, I proclaimed that I'd never get my hair colored.  Ha! Yeah right! But I do keep it close to the color God gave me, even as it has changed over time.  I'm not willing to give up the bottle quite yet.

I wouldn't have cosmetic surgery purely for vanity reasons.
Make-up? Well of course!  I especially need eye makeup, otherwise I think I resemble DiDi Pickles a little too much.  She was one of the mommies on the Nickelodeon cartoon "Rugrats", that was popular in the nineties.
Curly red hair, big glasses, and her eyes looked like tiny pencil dots.

Don't misunderstand me. I am not dissing myself.
I am laughing at myself as I consider these issues...not for the first time!

We are each unique and possess the features that we're meant to. Our genetics are a miracle!

I truly believe that loveliness radiates from within and is much more important than outward appearance. But most of us have a few scars about these issues. Mine are quite minor admittedly.

Oh I've tried diets and weird body toning exercises, even in elementary school.  Yes, because in 4th grade if someone calls you fat, you're determined to do something about it! And don't ever let them see you cry.

I got teased about my full lips a couple of times when I was a kid. I didn't know anything was wrong with them until I was called "fish lips".  Really?
In recent years, I've been surprised to receive compliments about my lips.
What? Who? No collagen here!

Back to the glasses, which I've had to wear since age six.  I've heard many comments about the thick lenses. Did I allow that to make me feel self-conscious while growing up? You bet!

I have memories of watching those TV makeover shows. The makeup "expert" would always say to the woman, "First, let's ditch these glasses!" That sends a clear message to an impressionable young girl, don't ya think?

I was able to put all that BS behind me, especially when I was forced to get a new perspective about it.  When I was thirty-five, I was diagnosed with a disease that can cause blindness. I eventually spent several years traveling to specialists, having surgeries and other such fun. I am mostly blind in my left eye now. I am so grateful for my vision! Yes, priorities change.

It angers me that the media starts teaching females early that they're never quite good enough.
(I'm convinced that boys are greatly influenced by the messages too.)
I was laughing at myself earlier, but I'm not laughing about this. I am pissed off!

Yes, I understand now that it's all about the almighty dollar. When I was ages eight, twelve, fourteen, I didn't get it.

  (I know that Dove is also out to sell products, but this video illustrates my points perfectly.)

Now we adult women often struggle to at least feel okay about ourselves in this supermodel, often pornographic society. It can be a battle to rise above the shallow thinking that's ever present!

There is nothing wrong with self improvement. It's healthy mentally, emotionally and physically. Let's do what we can with what we've got!

However... with age comes wisdom.

I refuse to waste anymore precious time and emotional energy worrying that I am somehow not acceptable, based on appearance! You girls of all ages know exactly what I am talking about, don't you?

Here at the end of my rant, one of my favorite songs comes to mind: Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are".  It still touches me at a deep level. That kind of love and acceptance brings graceful back to aging- at any age.

Cher is still beautiful in her own way. But she can keep her looks. I'll keep mine.