Beached Whale Expecting Twins

                                                   

Don't you think beached whales have a beautiful "glow" about them?   No, I don't either. Pregnant women often say that they feel like one. I did. It didn't seem funny at the time! Looking back, I can really laugh at a few of my  uncomfortable, awkward preggy moments.  And even with all that largeness, I wouldn't trade them for anything.

I started remembering some of these experiences, after I submitted the following story to a topic group "My Most Embarrassing Moment":

This moment happened about 30 years ago when I was in college. I was an education major, so I was in that office frequently.  The regular receptionist had been gone for a while. After a few weeks, she was back. We exchanged greetings. She stood up to get something, and I noticed a change in her! I blurted out ”OH! I didn’t know you were pregnant! Congratulations!”

She sat back down and just glared at me. She said ”I’m not pregnant.”
She let the silence kill me for a few seconds while my face turned kind of purple. My heart was racing. Then she said ”I have been ill and on dialysis. It causes my tummy to swell like this. You aren’t the first person to say that. It’s okay.”
Whew!
I felt bad about that for a long time.
I learned the hard way to NEVER say a woman is pregnant, unless she tells you herself. Or you actually see her having a baby!!

So, recalling that story triggered these memories...

The birth of my first child, our son, was a beautiful experience.  However, it was not a precious moment, a couple of minutes after he was born. I realized no one had turned the TV off. My first time of giving birth was a bit tainted by immediately seeing a Twisted Sister video...the hideous made-up faces, yell-singing those angry lyrics "We're Not Gonna Take It". Oh well. 

When I was about 8 months pregnant with my daughter, a nice lady asked if I was expecting TWINS. My daughter was born in August, and she weighed 9.5 lbs. I was huge, hot, hormonal and my back hurt. I answered politely but I wanted to knock her head off!  Please people! Let glowing, growing women offer that type of information...don't assume. Sheesh!

One last incident I want to share...
This one happened close to my late summer due date with my daughter. My husband took our three year old son into a hardware store with him, while I rested in the car. I laid the seat back, and tried to get comfortable...which was really hard to do in my "condition" you know! Oh, and add that is was about 100 degrees and very humid.  I fell asleep quick. A male voice startled me awake. My husband's friend was standing at my window- "Hi, do you remember me?  Where's Wayne? How are you?"  Blah, blah. I had put my seat back into an upright position to make small talk with him. We ran out of things to say, but he just kept standing there. Sort of, umm...staring.  I suddenly realized that the seat belt had pulled the neckline of my dress down on one side.  I mean WAY DOWN.  The darn thing just didn't adjust correctly, when stretched over my bulbous basketball and large lady lumps.
Gee, I bet he didn't expect a show like that when he left to go to the store that evening. 
I didn't expect to spend the rest of my evening feeling mortified and hoping I would NEVER see that guy again!

These are the types of life moments that just make reminiscing fun, and to me...funny!  The fact that I couldn't laugh when they were happening, makes them that much more comical now.  Really, I enjoyed my days as a beached whale! But I'm glad I don't have to do it again.